Being the independent, liberated, single American woman that I am, I had gotten used to doing things for myself. Sometimes that was out of choice, other times, out of necessity. So when I first arrived in Zambia, it was strange to have men constantly offering, and even insisting, to help me.
My first reactions were: “I don’t want to impose on anyone.” “I haven’t got any cash on me to pay them for helping me.” ” I’m perfectly capable of doing this myself.” “Do they think I’m weak/incapable because I’m (pick one) white, a woman, middle aged?”
As I’ve gotten to know the Zambian people, I’ve learned that while the above statements may be true, the biggest reason for their help is kindness and respect. It is very rare for me to be lifting and/or carrying things from my car into my house or office any more. And while there are times, where I suspect the only reason a young man has offered to help me is because of the prospect of a tip, for the most part, I believe people are offering their help simply out of kindness.
This morning, I was carrying my “Cart-o-Presentation Goodies” down a flight of stairs after completing a presentation at a local church. I am capable of carrying it – even in 3-inch heels. Four or five men passed me either on the way up or down. Not one of them offered to help me. And while I managed to get my cart down the stairs with only minor struggling, I was surprised by that revelation.
Have we become so independent and liberated that we can no longer offer kindness to one another?
